Sometimes we long to go where we feel known and welcomed. A place where it doesn’t matter where we’ve been or who we used to be. Where we are greeted just as we are right now.

Such a place is tucked into the Aldi Center. Tammy and Monja, the owners, greet everyone who enters the Laguna Cafe as if they were longtime friends. They make you feel as if you belong.

That sense of belonging is so important in today’s world and rare to find. There is something that feels good about finding the right people in the right place, at the right time of our lives.

There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in is like wearing the coolest Halloween costume ever. Nobody knows who you are, but you look great.

Belonging is being in the world as our true self. Author Brene Brown said, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

Scary things are happening in our world today, so more than ever we need positive people to be around. We need to be able to see the compassion, gratitude and true connection that is within us.

Fred Rogers, from the television show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

Trust is the invisible part of welcoming that joins us together. It nurtures an atmosphere where we feel valued, understood and accepted, just as many people do at Laguna Cafe.

As we recognize the importance of trust in fostering a sense of being in the right place to be ourselves, we pave the way for stronger, more inclusive gatherings where we become helpers to each other.

This can have a ripple effect. When we trust the people around us, we are more inclined to empathize with their struggles, celebrate their successes and offer genuine support during difficult times. These emotional bonds create a sense of unity and solidarity, strengthening the feeling of belonging.

We can always put on our Halloween costume and go out and fit in anywhere, but true happiness comes from belonging, to ourselves and to the world.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

Do you remember the first video games? Pong was so simple, just a ball bouncing from wall to wall on the screen and the players trying to catch it. Yet it fascinated us and kept us playing with our full attention.

It would put today’s gamers fast asleep.

Oh, how those games have changed. George Bernard Shaw said, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

We live in a world of continual transformation, a universe in constant flux. Even the Earth we live upon is active and alive. We cannot stop this any more than we can stop the sun from rising in the sky.

What we can accept is our ability to thrive and to move forward.

There is an old song whose lyrics say, “There’ll be a change in the weather, there’ll be a change in the sea, and from now on there’ll be a change in me.”

Choose your change. For the most part, we can, you know. If we’re serious about changing when life changes, we will find a way. If not, any excuse will do.

We have just gone past the fall equinox on our calendars. Fall is the season of letting go, preparing for the holiday times ahead and the quiet of winter.

Although we don’t have the golden leaves of autumn that are present in many parts of our country, we can be like those trees and show our glorious colors. Love the experience and release it, assured that the new is coming in its perfect season.

If you have something in your life that it is time to release, you can use the energy and symbology of this time of year to do so, knowing the universe will bring the new.

We can keep the game of living alive with curiosity and wonder as it changes pace, just like the video games of the past. We can let the glorious “old” drop away just like the autumn leaves. We can play the game of life knowing each day presents us with countless opportunities to learn, grow and make a positive impact on the world around us.

We can thrive together!

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

Imagine loving life when you are in the doctor’s office, stuck in traffic, or even just sitting in your living room watching television.

There is no perfect situation for which we have to wait to be in love with life itself. There will be some days when we can’t reach that place of loving life – when we are in pain, our bank account is dwindling or other personal situations keep us in our sadness.

To know that no matter how we feel we can still find a love of life within us in the presence of such events empowers our legacy.

Someone once called these times the “inconveniences” of living. We need to sort for ourselves those that are just inconveniences and those moments that are significant.

In such significant moments, tell yourself, “There is an answer, there is a way.”

At other times, we can ask ourselves, can we be in love with living? All of its ups and downs? Can we know that our legacy is not what we leave behind in our wills?

Can we continue to remind ourselves that our larger legacy is in how we live our lives?

Every time we make amends to someone we have hurt, every time we hold back words of anger until we are calm within, every time we speak words of kindness and gratitude, we are leaving our legacy.

Author Maya Angelou said, “If you’re going to live, leave a legacy. Make a mark on the world that can’t be erased.”

We are making memories every day as we interact with one another. Our age gives us a perspective on the difference between living in love with life and always being loving.

We can’t help making mistakes, losing loved ones, going through the process of letting go of what we want to keep. But we can still love the life we live by being present to this moment now.

Leo Buscaglia wrote, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

It is a love of living that allows us to see that the smallest of moments of life is our real legacy. It lives in the lives of the people we touch.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

Hawks and crows abound here. High-flying hawks soaring in circles above us are in danger if they come near the nest of a crow. Those smaller black birds that make so much noise will chase that hawk away from their young, or from the nest of any other bird. The hawks fly away in fear of the smaller birds.

Crows have a language of their own and will call other crows for help to chase away anything that threatens them. They will warn others when danger is near, or invite them to a plentiful supply of food. Crows form families and communities and rally around one another in a kinship of support.

That is a lesson we can learn from those pesky birds.

We have been taught to be strong and self-sufficient when actually we are social creatures who thrive in relationships. We need a sense of belonging. Feeling connected to other people satisfies our need for love, acceptance and support, boosting our self-esteem and providing that sense of belonging.

Author Margaret Wheatley wrote, “Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.”

Some of us might have difficulty asking for help when we are facing a tough situation. Chances are that the people around us have the same difficulty. We were raised in a do-it-yourself era when self-sufficient was the way to be.

How many of us have difficulty asking for help? Or telling someone that we have a need?

Charlie Mackesy wrote, “Asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s refusing to give up.”

At any stage of our life, we can change our narrative about what we “should” be able to do ourselves; we can become like crows, knowing that together anything is possible.

Our lives can thrive in this community as we develop our sense of belonging together.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

It’s called “one more thing” day. It can be declared every day, once a week or once in a while. It is our day for our personal pleasure and triumph. It is a day that leads to freedom and victory over the small, distracting things in our lives.

To get ready, we will have to make a list of those things we’ve meant to do but haven’t. Come on, you know what they are. You may even have made that list before.

Things on the list may be small and in themselves insignificant. They just niggle for our attention and distract us when we are doing more important things. Move that flower pot, write that email, clean out the sock drawer, things like that.

They are like little puffs of air into a balloon. The balloon keeps getting bigger and bigger until it is full and stretched to its limit. Our mind may feel so full of these little undone tasks we don’t even know where to start. That is when we declare a “one more thing” day.

Clear your calendar, make sure you have treats to inspire you throughout the day, and pick one thing from your list and do it. On this day, they don’t have to be in order – just do it.

Taking care of our list one item at a time is like letting the air out of the balloon little by little. When you finish one task, say to yourself, “Just one more thing.”

Steve Jobs made this phrase famous as he introduced new Apple products. He would finish his presentation and then, as he turned away, would turn back and say, “One more thing …” and would introduce his latest innovation.

By taking care of the little distractions in our lives, we find ourselves with more time and energy to devote to what truly matters. Do things in small doses with treats in between, and when you can’t do another thing, simply declare this “one more thing” day is complete.

You may not have gotten all of it done, but you are completely successful, and your mind will recognize that and look forward to your next declared holiday.

Oh, and happy One More Thing Day to you.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

What were those escapees thinking? What were those builders thinking when they built that prison? It seems there were so many choices and consequences that obviously were not thought out.

Have you ever said to yourself, “What was I thinking?”

For me, that is after I would have benefited by slowing down my reaction to something and creating even a small space for reflection. Then I could have made a choice from a place of clarity rather than by impulse.

It is good to know that we are not the thoughts we think, but we do experience the results of the ones we act upon.

Country singer Willie Nelson dropped a new song in 2022 called “Energy Follows Thought” – basically saying that what we think about we will put our energy into, so don’t dwell on thoughts of distrust and disgust and follow them impulsively.

Taking time to shape our thoughts toward the consequences we desire will guide us to positive interactions with life.

Viktor Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

When we find ourselves overwhelmed or stressed, we can take a mindful pause. Notice our thoughts and emotions without judgment and observe any physical sensations in our body. This can help us respond with greater clarity and calm.

When we are in touch with our feelings, we once again have a choice. “Is this the best way for me to respond? Will this response serve me?”

I am sure those inmates were only thinking of getting beyond the walls that held them prisoner.

We can step beyond the walls of impulsive action when we know that our energy will follow our thoughts. Being mindful means simply paying attention to and assessing the possibilities of our thoughts and actions.

Getting out of our unwanted reactions will set us free to choose the life we want.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

Life is truly an exciting adventure. But sometimes, in this open field of opportunities, our choices are of such magnitude that it can seem overwhelming.

Creative living in maturity requires us to once again become like children and endlessly ask, “What else could this be?” or “And now what?”

Pablo Picasso once said: “It takes a long time to become young.” As we mature, let’s also become young. Let’s join in eager explorations of what might be possible and engage in greater learning and greater artistry in our lives. Just as an artist is faced with a blank canvas and the tools of the trade, so are we equipped with the blank canvas of the future and the tools of heart, mind and spirit.

When we enter into our lives with the spirit of creativity, our experience offers us a way to become more original and inventive, and to feel more alive.

There are myths that we may repeat that can inhibit our creativity if we let them – sayings like “I am not artistic” or “I don’t have any talent” or even “I’m too old for that.”

Author Elizabeth Gilbert said, “To me overall, staying creative in old age requires an ongoing commitment to learning, growth and self-expression. With the right mindset and habits, it’s possible to continue to create and innovate throughout your lifetime. Creative living is any life that is guided more strongly by curiosity than fear.”

Fear only keeps us from moving forward into exploring all that we can be. Creativity is our ability to bring something into existence – either something that has never existed before, or something that is a unique combination of what already exists.

Being creative can be something as simple as finding a new use for a familiar object or a unique way of expressing ourselves. What is true is that we don’t have to be artistic to be creative. Sometimes, just using new words to describe ourselves will break us free of self-imposed limitations.

Children will start and then start again, until someone tells them they can’t do something they think they can. Children can be shy or outgoing, boisterous or quiet, and they will choose their own pathway if left alone.

People will say, “It’s just a stage she’s going through.” Let them say that about us!

So what if you are not as strong as you used to be? So what if you can’t see as well as you used to see? So what if there are others who can do more than you?

In a rapidly changing world, we only need to be creative to live fully alive.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

No, wait!

“Rain, rain, stay and end the drought.”

No, wait!

What do I want?

It would be nice if we could control the weather to our preferences, but that’s not going to happen. The delightful thing is that we can control our thoughts about the weather. It may not always be easy, but taking charge of our thinking works for having a positive experience, even in the midst of a not-so-good day.

A student driving on the freeway in the rain got caught in traffic. She sent a text to her instructor: “I’ll be late. I’m stuck in traffic.” Unfortunately, the spell checker sent, “I’ll be late. I’m stuck in tragic.”

How many people get stuck in “tragic” as they age? How often do you hear someone say, “It’s terrible to get old?”

There’s even a name for being afraid of old age. It is called gerascophobia. What can you do about your age? Not much.

Like the weather, it’s not in our control, but we can refuse to be old. That doesn’t mean to deny our signs of aging but to wear them proudly. After all, we’ve made it through all of our worst storms so far. We can let go of the yearning to be younger and embrace all the wonderful things we can do and be now.

Sophia Bush wrote, “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.”

So, what can we do to distract us from our “tragic aging” thoughts? Don’t hesitate to ask for help if we are having a bad day. It can be tough to put oneself in a vulnerable position, especially if we have always been able to do everything for ourselves.

In his book “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse,” Charlie Mackesy wrote, “Asking for help isn’t giving up, said the horse. It’s refusing to give up.”

No matter our physical condition, we can continue to learn more and more about ourselves – especially if the spirit with which we approach each day is about getting to the heart of who we are and loving it.

Our lives can be about doing things wholeheartedly because we get to – this is our one unique chance to experience our particular life.

Louise Hay wrote, “You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself (and your age) and see what happens.”

Rain, rain, do what you want – you are not in charge of me.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

The tale is based on the life of John Chapman, a nurseryman in the 1700s. He planted not just seeds but whole orchards and then gave them to others. He was said to be kind and generous, and those qualities are also seeds he planted along the way.

You might ask, “What does that have to do with me? I’m not Johnny Appleseed. I’m not going to wander around planting trees.”

True. However, our thoughts and actions are seeds that are planted and grow in our mind and heart. Just as physical seeds, the seeds of thought that we nurture will grow. They become our experience and shape our lives.

A thriving life depends not so much on what we have been in the past but on what we nurture today. Author Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.”

Just as Johnny Appleseed planted apple trees and provided nourishment and sustenance to those in need, so too can we plant thought seeds to nourish our own lives.

Planting thought seeds starts with a vision of what qualities we want to experience in life. It continues with observing those qualities within ourselves and others. If we focus on how plentiful these qualities show up in life, we will see what we have to contribute as well as reap. We can feed our thoughts with affirmations and energy and take action to help them grow.

Just like Johnny spread the benefits of his labor and his love to many, so too can we reap the rewards and share our harvest with others.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.

It seems to have arrived so soon. Time is such a funny thing. It passes in ways we don’t imagine. Sometimes, when we are sitting still, it passes so slowly, and when we are engaged in a completely absorbing activity, it flies.

C.L. Lewis said, “The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”

So, the consciousness of change must be within us. Our life is a piece of the passing of time. So, what we set out to do, or be, may change as we advance through our lives. Now that we are here in the future we dreamed of, perhaps it is time to look at that transformation and how we have adapted to it.

Nearby the Village is a store named Adapt2It. What a good name. We know what to expect when we go inside. There will be products that help us adapt to the physical changes in our bodies.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that store also provided something that helped us adjust mentally and emotionally to the alterations in our lives?

Paris will be the home of the 2024 Summer Olympics, and for the first time, breakdancing will be an Olympic event. Can those of us of a certain age accept this without scoffing?

Yes, the future is here, and it is inviting us to look with new acceptance at what it brings. Many new ideas that seemed outrageous at first are now ordinary. An electric car? A phone you can carry in your pocket? Robotic surgery? All are commonplace, and we have learned to adapt and even to delight in them.

One of the best ways we can be open to change is to be curious, to see all of life as an opportunity for growth. Another is to love the changes of our lives, to be present to every opportunity to learn, and to embrace the newness of what is happening now.

To do this, we may need to become more self-aware. These ideas may help us to see what is possible for us right now and in the future.

We can ignite our curiosity by asking, “What is here now? What can I learn from this situation?” Next, we can explore our creativity. “How can I use this for a better world, for myself and others?” Finally, we can ask ourselves “Am I willing to trust?”

Author Stephen Covey wrote, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

It is also the best quality of life to carry us into the unknown yet-to-be. The future we imagined is the “now” of today. Let’s rejoice and be glad in it.

The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.