Recycling is a very good thing … right? I take clothes to the Salvation Army all the time. But before I go there, I have Joyce at St. George’s Parish take anything she wants — for the homeless.
A lot of people leave some very good clothes that they don’t want on a counter in the laundry room. Joyce really appreciates them, too. And I’m sure the Salvation Army appreciates whatever isn’t appropriate for the homeless, like party dresses.
My friend and neighbor Stephanie collects magazines and books to give to her friend who volunteers at MemorialCare Saddleback Hospital so that she can put them on the reading cart she takes around to the patient rooms.
I love paper — especially very colorful paper, neons and bright orange and yellow and blue. The folks at the box office at the Performing Arts Center in Clubhouse 3 would let me take the old event flyers. I was ecstatic with all the colorful paper they were printed on.
That is, until I came across a bright orange one in my living room one day when I was adding events to my calendar. The flyer was for an ‘80s party, and I am so there! (Silly me. I thought this was a current event and not one to recycle.)
So being 20 pounds lighter then and a youthful 63 years of age, I dressed the way Madonna did in the ‘80s, her best era — fishnet stockings, high heels, short sequined skirt, a purple bustier, and lots and lots of makeup.
I had recruited my friend Ann G. to meet me at Clubhouse 5. I didn’t see Ann when I got there, so I strutted my stuff up to the lobby, where a table was set up just outside the ballroom door.
Hmmm … wonder where Ann is. Hmmm, guess they’re not having a bar tonight. Boy, are these gals at the sign-in table dressed conservatively for the ‘80s world we’re in tonight. They looked at me kinda strangely and said, “May we help you?” Yikes! Turned out it was a church function, a very conservative church function. Yikes! My face turned the color of my bustier.
I don’t think Ann ever realized my blunder, because I never did ‘fess up. But thankfully, she’s moved out of the Village to a place in Seal Beach called Leisure World, so I’m sure she won’t read this.
Anyhoo, all these many years later, the ladies who were at the sign-in table that night are probably still praying for my lost and demented soul.
Diane Duray is a Laguna Woods Village resident. Contact her at dduray47@gmail.com.
