To come or not to come? That is the question.

One faction of Hawaii residents is telling visitors to stay away so that more resources are available to those recovering from the loss of loved ones and property. Another camp is pleading for tourists to bring much-needed revenue, especially after what is now a one-two punch between the travel-restricting pandemic that lasted roughly two years and the wildfire that only a few months ago ravaged Maui and decimated historic Lahaina Town.

Considerate of both these viewpoints is Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Henry Kapono, who in between hard-ticket concerts plays Duke’s at the Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort on Sundays.

“Mixed messages are out there,” said the 75-year-old Oahu-born fixture. “The locals in West Maui are especially feeling the hurt of what happened and trying to heal at the same time. As they support themselves, their friends and community, the hope is that they can see the bigger picture of tourism being a key part of that support.”

Because of the devastating fires, Kapono’s Maui gig on his current 50-year anniversary tour has been postponed three months to December. In between, however, he organized a benefit concert in Maui that raised $200,000 for victims.

“It’s really sad about Lahaina,” said one half of the legendary, long-disbanded Hawaiian pop duo Cecilio & Kapono. “I have so many memories of working places that burned to the ground. It will take a while, but we know that Lahaina will come back in some shape or form. Until it does, Maui has other places to enjoy paradise, and people are welcome to have fun on the other islands as well. That’s what Hawaii is all about.”

Maui hosts about a quarter of all visitors to Hawaii, and although much of “The Valley Isle” is fully operational now three months after the catastrophic fires, Oahu, where nearly half of the state’s tourists flock to, seems to be welcoming island-bound travelers with the widest open arms — slathered with sunscreen of SPF 30 or higher, of course.

Living up to its nickname of “The Gathering Place,” Oahu is seeing visitorship nearly back to pre-pandemic levels. Vacation-hungry Americans are being wooed by the tropical beauty and weather, world-class resorts and restaurants, and walkability of Waikiki — all accessible without a passport and, for many, a non-stop flight to Honolulu.

Also nonstop is Oahu’s vast array of unique experiences and attractions. With an eye out for what’s new, improved and special, let’s explore this eclectic and exciting island by land, sea and air.

On the ground

If you’re born to be wild, then get your motor running and head out for an adrenaline junkie’s kind of off-road adventure. New to Oahu is a 2 1/2-hour Pua Pua‘a Piglet ATV Adventure from North Shore EcoTours (northshoreecotours.com), and it packs a Hawaiian punch. Climbing, crawling and sloshing through rocky and often muddy trails in a rugged 4×4 ATV, with no more than three of these six-seaters on the tour, adds to the thrill of plowing through jungle and farm land while being caked in brick-red volcanic dirt that takes a couple of hot showers and loads of laundry to get off your skin and clothes. North Shore EcoTours also offers hikes and rides on electric, solo-rider Mongoose ATVs. Along the way a guide points out interesting landmarks and vegetation ripe for selfies. The Pau Pua‘a tour runs about $300 for two people — a bargain compared to ATV adventures around the world that are half as exhilarating.

Driving on a much different type of course is achieved at the official golf club of the Four Seasons Resort at Ko Olina, Disney’s Aulani Resort and other tony properties on Oahu’s west side. Rated one of Golf Digest’s “Top 75 Resort Courses in the U.S.,” Ko Olina Golf Club (koolinagolf.com), where LPGA star Michelle Wie developed her game, is gorgeous and challenging, yet comfortable for the golfer who may feel unworthy or intimidated playing courses used for pro tours. The grounds also have an above-par pro shop and a Roy’s Hawaiian fusion restaurant. Greens fees are very fair for a facility of this caliber — about $250, less if staying at a partner resort.

OK, so the most touristy thing one can do in Hawaii is go to a luau. They’re expensive, hokey and cookie-cutter, but not doing one, especially on a first visit, is almost sacrilegious. So, props to the ‘Ahaaina Luau (royal-hawaiianluau.com) at the gorgeous Royal Hawaiian on Waikiki Beach for being different. Oh, it’s pricey, all right, costing $225 or $250, depending on how close you want to sit, but hokey and cookie-cutter it’s not. The show, held on Mondays and Thursdays, follows a three-course dinner that fuses Hawaiian, Korean and Japanese flavors. Told through story, song and dance, the history of Hawaii includes the colorful past of the hallowed grounds upon which the luau’s guests are gathered. Sure, it’s a commercial for the Royal Hawaiian, but it works, and how special for those actually staying at the near-century-old resort.

On the subject of entertainment, opening night isn’t for another year, but we mention Cirque de Soleil’s next permanent show because it’s bound to make a great property in the heart of Waikiki even better. The Outrigger Waikiki Beachcomber Hotel is where an 800-seat theater that’s been dormant since the pandemic is being renovated for a production that will blend Hawaiian culture with Cirque’s signature avant-garde sights and sounds. The show’s name hasn’t been announced yet, but the hospitality company behind it has made a name for itself as ambassadors of the aloha spirit.

Corny as this may sound, Outrigger’s respect for local culture isn’t just a checkbox. It’s laid in the flooring of the flagship Outrigger Reef Waikiki Beach Hotel, where Hawaiian words are learned while strolling the lobby area. It’s baked in the locally made pono pie at Duke’s inside the Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort, home of the to-die-for dessert somehow free of gluten, sugar and dairy. And it’s woven in the island-crafted robes hanging in the closet of each unit at the Beachcomber … but they’ll charge you if stolen. The aloha spirit does have its limits.

The cultural center at the newly renovated Reef property is a benchmark among all island resorts, as is the hotel’s Kani Ka Pila Grille for live Hawaiian music. Paradise is chowing down on kalua pork nachos and pineapple crème brulée washed down with your favorite umbrella drink while enjoying home-grown contemporary artists every night in a casual outdoor venue, and with no admission charge. Indeed, the spirit of aloha is alive and well while eating, drinking or relaxing at an Outrigger (outrigger.com) property. If you want to add “sleeping” to the list, rates at Outrigger’s top Oahu hotels begin at around $400 a night, which is low for three-diamond AAA-rated hotels in Waikiki that behave more like those with four diamonds.

Recommending a genuine four-diamond property, on the west side of the island is the Four Seasons Resort Oahu at Ko Olina (fourseasons.com). New there is the Noe Mixology Masterclass ($75), a one-hour lesson starring gin, bourbon, rum, mescal, tequila and, on many days, Michael Milligan, formerly from Costa Mesa and now the Four Seasons’ lead bartender who made this guzzling guest the best espresso martini of his life. More hands-on expertise is found at the resort’s elegant Naupaka Spa. Try the 50-minute Signature Lomilomi Massage ($225) and you won’t be either sore or sorry.

Honolulu’s Waikiki area has grown as a foodie destination since the pandemic, and two of the more exciting newcomers are La Bettola Waikiki at the ‘Alohilani Resort (alohilaniresort.com) and Redfish at the Wayfinder Waikiki (wayfinderhotels.com). La Bettola, opened in June, features authentic Italian fare married with local ingredients under the guise of renowned chef Tsutomu Ochiai. His neighbor at the Alohilani is “Iron Chef” Masaharu Morimoto’s Momosan, home of perhaps the best ramen and sushi on Oahu.

The signature dishes at Redfish are the poke bowls, but it’s hard to beat the honey walnut shrimp. Opened in May, Redfish augments a boutique hotel with a cool and kitschy vibe that’s only outdone by its ‘60s-feel sister property, the White Sands Hotel, a few blocks away. Best of Waikiki’s chain restaurants: Hula Grill at the Outrigger Waikiki Beach Resort, Tommy Bahama Restaurant on Beachwalk Drive and Monkeypod Kitchen at the Outrigger Reef Waikiki Beach Hotel.

In the air

Since you’re probably already spending thousands on a Hawaiian vacation, what’s another $400 to guarantee an even more memorable trip? That’s how much it is, per person, to see Oahu at rainbow level. Blue Hawaiian Helicopters (bluehawaiian.com) has a 65-minute Complete Island Tour from Honolulu that includes the biggies: Pearl Harbor and the Arizona Memorial, Diamond Head, the surfing mecca of North Shore and Oahu’s tallest waterfall.

On the water

Sailing tours are among the more popular things to do while in Hawaii, and if you’re hoping to set a course for more romance than adventure, climb aboard the 150-foot, three-deck Majestic for a crowd-escaping Waikiki Sunset Cocktail Cruise (majestichawaii.com). Operated by Atlantis, which will be happy to take you under the water as well in one of its submarines, the cruise ($79 for adults, $39.50 for children) parallels the Waikiki coast for stunning views that culminate at sunset when the orange sun sinks behind the Hawaiian horizon. Majestic is the only cruise around with a full-service bar and lounge that offers open seating.

All this is just a drop in the warm and inviting ocean. For more on Oahu, visit gohawaii.com/islands/oahu.

Still in our Debbie Downer costume, we must note that cruise vacations are not exempt from holiday hazards at the hands of heisters, or worse. While it’s almost always smooth sailing for passengers onboard, conditions onshore can get choppy if one isn’t cautious.

Whether arriving by land, air or sea, tourists are prime targets for crime because they typically carry fat wallets and other personal valuables while being distracted. Lacking in the local landscape, language or culture adds to a visitor’s vulnerability. Those coming by ship can be more at risk because they are typically less likely to report an incident so not to eat into their fleeting time in port.

Scary stuff, but consulting with a travel advisor named Uncle Sam in advance of your trip could quell some nerves. The U.S. Department of State offers country-specific safety and security information at www.travel.state.gov/destination. The Bureau of Consular Affairs’ travel alerts and advisories are especially beneficial when choosing a cruise itinerary. Looking at voyages to the Caribbean that include calls to Roatan and Puerto Quetzal? Popular as these stops in Honduras and Guatemala are, respectively, the U.S. government strongly suggests you think otherwise as rampant crime is a chief reason both countries at press time were at Level 3, the tier that comes with the warning of “reconsider travel.”

Not everything is “irie” in Jamaica, either, as the local slang for “all right” contradicts alarming crime statistics that earn the home of three of the most popular ports in the Western Caribbean — Montego Bay, Falmouth and Ocho Rios — the second-most severe level. Jamaica is notorious for its reckless drivers, sketchy tour guides and aggressive vendors whose wares aren’t necessarily the kind allowed back on the ship.

The fact that cruise lines go where trouble follows, sometimes several times a day at a single port considered high risk by the U.S. government, isn’t lost on maritime lawyer and TikTok star Spencer Aronfeld (www.aronfeld.com).

“Cruise lines have an obligation to keep passengers safe, and yet they still make calls in countries and port neighborhoods deemed dangerous to visit by the State Department,” said the Miami-based Aronfeld. “Every season, tens of thousands of passengers are dropped off in ports in Level 3 countries without warning. What the cruise lines are doing in the process is lulling people with a false sense of security.”

There is no specter of sugarcoating where the current fighting between Israeli and Hamas forces is involved. Since the latest war in the Middle East broke out on Oct. 7, cruise lines making calls to the Israeli ports of Ashdod and Haifa have either canceled voyages outright or altered itineraries to send ships elsewhere in the Mediterranean. Celebrity, Holland America, MSC, Norwegian, Oceania, Princess and Regent Seven Seas are among the cruise lines that have announced schedule changes effective through at least November, if not the indefinite future.

While no place is 100% safe, dozens of cruise favorites around the globe are in solid standing with the bureau and other influencers that publicly track crime statistics. Level 1 countries that roll out the welcome mat on gangways include Argentina, Australia, Barbados, Bermuda, British Virgin Islands, Canada, Cayman Islands, Curacao, French Polynesia, French West Indies, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Malta, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Singapore and Sint Maarten/Saint Martin (so, the Dutch and French sides of the island).

With more than a million visitors in post-pandemic 2022, nearly 75% arriving by ship, George Town in Cayman Islands is the busiest international cruise port in a Level 1 country. And why not? Cayman has stunning tropical beaches, world-class luxury resorts, superb food and extremely low crime that many contribute to the nation’s high quality of life. At the Westin Grand Cayman Seven Mile Beach Resort & Spa, for example, a perfectly sunny day this past summer was made even more idyllic when not a single peddler or suspicious character shared the white sandy shore with us holiday makers — a rarity in the Caribbean, where on most beaches the wise don’t all go into the ocean together; someone must always stay back to mind the stuff.

Destinations given Level 2 status come with an “exercise increased caution” advisory. Mexico is on that sublist mostly due to such violent crime as homicide, kidnapping, carjacking and robbery, which the U.S. government says is “widespread and common” south of the border. Turkey also was at Level 2 at press time, but for different reasons; the government considers it a target for terrorism. The average tourist, however, is more likely to encounter snatching and pickpocketing within the country’s economic and cultural capital of 16 million people; frenetic Istanbul is a common stop on Mediterranean cruise itineraries. Venice is in the same gondola. Petty crime against visitors is a big issue there, which makes wearing a money belt as smart as getting gelato where the longest lines are. Rome, Florence, Pisa, Naples and even Vatican City are other havens for unsaintly activity in and around Italy. Infamous as Italy is for its petty crime on tourists, the main reason the country is at Level 2 is, like Turkey, the threat of terrorism.

Not all nations share the same dangers, of course, but each does have its good and bad sections — something that the State Department’s travel advisories don’t often factor in. After all, if the United States was listed, would it be fair for Honolulu, considered the safest American city with over 300,000 people, to be lumped in with St. Louis, supposedly the most dangerous? If it were, all of America would likely be at Level 2 or 3. The U.S. Department of State does issue a warning for one domestic cruise destination: While in Puerto Rico, travelers are advised to take necessary precautions to avoid such petty crimes as theft and muggings. Like on the mainland, PR also has its share of public protests, something else to avoid.

The U.S. government’s one-size-fits-all approach for its advisories effects cruise mainstay Haiti as well. The country is assigned to the same Level 4 (“do not travel”) category as Russia, Ukraine, North Korea, Iraq and Iran, but several cruise lines operate private destinations there. These private islands, as they’re called, are regarded as some of the safest places in the world for shore excursions. That why it’s probably best to heed these travel advisories, but not as gospel. To wit, Jeddah is an up-and-coming cruise port in Saudi Arabia — the region is rich in UNESCO World Heritage archaeological sites — and while reported crime on tourists is low there, the country, itself, is at Level 3. Justification for the harsh ranking is an apparent threat of missile and drone attacks on civilian facilities, but the hot zones indicated by the State Department are far from Jeddah and likely inconsequential to cruise ships.

“I know it might be hard for Americans to believe, but Jeddah is one of the world’s safest ports,” said maritime lawyer Aronfeld. “They don’t have the same day-to-day crime that tarnishes so many otherwise amazing cruise destinations.”

Whether traveling to Montego Bay, Newport Bay or anywhere on holiday, taking a few precautions can make a globetrotting world of difference. Here are some common-sense tips for safekeeping:

• Be extra cautious where and when risks are moderate to high.
• Avoid isolated areas and travel in groups when possible.
• Leave valuables in your stateroom or hotel safe, and what you do wear or carry should always be secured, if not inconspicuous.
• Two words: money belt.
• Two more words: drink responsibly.
• Go on YouTube and TikTok to familiarize yourself with local scams.
• Have local emergency numbers handy including your country’s nearest embassy or consulate.
• When personal safety could be at risk, ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”
• Trust your instincts.

Safe travels!

But in all my years of employment, from age 16 when I was paid in record albums as a high school sports correspondent for KEZY-AM (RIP), to today as a 62-year-old Intel retiree with an S-corp and portfolio career, the workplace I hold most dear is one I never even put on my résumé.

Knott’s Berry Farm was and is that special to me decades later. Perhaps many of us of a certain age have a soft spot for our first real jobs between the end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood. As for feeling sentimental over perhaps Buena Park’s longest-operating active company, clearly I’m not alone; more than 750 past and present KBF employees belong to a private Facebook group where every discussion oozes boysenberry preserves sprinkled with warm fuzzies.

The longest part-time gig I had during my wonder years had me literally down in the dumps, and it was awesome. My three years at Knott’s began as a sweeper — not my first choice, but it was the only job available when I applied late in my senior year at Los Alamitos High School. Dealing with discarded food, soiled diapers and vomit from queasy guests with lousy aim was nasty. But patrolling an assigned parcel of theme park each shift enabled me to get in my steps long before that became a thing. Besides lots of exercise, I found lots of misplaced money, and this was back when cash and — not Apple Pay — was king.

A bigger reward would come nearly 45 years later. The other week, this big kid returned to my all-time favorite workplace with my two sons who are nearly 10 years beyond the age I quit Knott’s to focus on my journalism studies at Cal State Long Beach. With my wife remaining in suburban Sacramento to ride her own version of a roller-coaster (she’s a public school teacher), my fully grown boys, both back living in SoCal, met me outside the Knott’s gates at the very spot where I picked up a very different type of trash on one hot summer night in ’79. This one had me running from one end of the park to the other.

SEE ALSO: 10 former Knott’s rides and attractions we miss the most

After witnessing a purse snatching next to Montezuma’s Revenge, I chased the perp twerp through Fiesta Village, past the long-gone Our Little Chapel by the Lake with the “transforming Jesus,” through Ghost Town and ended when the thug ran out of steam between Mrs. Knott’s Chicken Dinner Restaurant and Virginia’s Gift Shop. My boys humored me by listening to that story for the nth time, but, oh, how much more riveting to hear it at the tale’s origin.

Exciting as the life of a sweeper was, weeks later I turned in the broom and pan for the greener, cleaner pasture of Admissions, where tickets were sold and taken long before advance online sales and barcode scanners existed. Our department’s uniforms came with two happy western shirts in bright orange and green, plus a 10-gallon hat that had me strutting like John Travolta when his movie, “Urban Cowboy,” was the rage in 1980. Five years later, serendipity allowed me to share that memory with Mr. Travolta when I covered the 57th Academy Awards.

While I’m namedropping, I met the one and only Barbra Streisand thanks to this job and the lovely, late Marion Knott. The youngest daughter of Knott’s Berry Farm founders Walter and Cordelia was giving the A-list celebrity a private tour of the park. Fortuitously, I was the attendant that night at a re-entry gate that once closed off Ghost Town from guests who didn’t pay for park admission. When the living legend approached my gate, Ms. Knott asked me to brand her guest with the now-obsolete re-entry handstamp. I believe “REIN” was the word of the day, and the green ink would show up under black light. Everyone planning to return to the park would stick out their hand to get stamped. Everyone but Babs, that is. Seizing on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I went rogue by taking her soft, perfectly manicured hand for the most excellent stamp ever. While gazing at my tattoo skills, she asked, “So, this will get me back in?” To which I responded, “I don’t think you’ll have a problem, Miss Streisand.”

Borrowing a lyric from the Association’s first No. 1 hit — I stamped that entire band as well — cherish is the word I use to describe my most bittersweet gate-based memory. I’m believed to be the last gate attendant to welcome Mr. Knott into his own park. On what wound up being my final morning shift at Knott’s, the man who helped bring joy to Southern California and boysenberries to the world came through the main re-entry gate an hour or so before opening, part of his routine as he lived right there on the grounds. Due to advancing Parkinson’s disease, which ultimately was his cause of death, the Orange County legend appeared lifeless as a young nurse pushed his wheelchair. “Good morning, Mr. Knott,” I said with deep respect while opening what we called back then as the “handicap re-entry gate.” The San Bernardino-born farmer and inspiration to Walt Disney would die a few days later, on Dec. 3, 1981, just shy of his 92nd birthday.

Twenty years earlier to the week of Knott’s passing was my first visit to Knott’s Berry Farm at only 8 months old. Thanks to my father’s love for making 8mm home movies, there’s a 15-second-long, now-digitized visual memory of my mother pushing me in a stroller at the entrance of a year-old Calico Mine Ride. I can’t confirm this without a Ouija board, but chances are my parents took me on it, too. That would explain an urge to always be among the first to experience the new rides at Knott’s, be it Corkscrew, Parachute Sky Jump, Gasoline Alley, Knott’s Bear-y Tales (the OG version) or GhostRider, a world-class wooden coaster I took both boys on as soon as they met the 48-inch height requirement.

Now 29 and 27, my sons who have caught up to my current mental age when it comes to theme parks, said they enjoyed walking down memory lane with their old man on our guys’ day at Knott’s. They graced me by going on the Calico Railroad with a half-hour wait, shamed my putrid score on the reimagined 4-D version of Knott’s Bear-y Tales, and loved HangTime with its 90-degree ascent and ridiculously steep drop. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to getting misty-eyed over the three of us experiencing GhostRider together for the first time.

SEE ALSO: Knott’s Berry Farm hopes to reopen Xcelerator coaster this summer

Adult commitments prevented us from taking in Knott’s Scary Farm that evening, but we did get a fun-sized taste of an early Halloween thanks to the park’s daytime family-friendly version. I don’t recall whether I worked two or three Halloween Haunts, the original name of Knott’s frightening fall classic, but back in my day professional make-up artists and costume designers worked their macabre magic on us in Admissions. Since the event was always sold out, once ticket holders went through the gate we were allowed to go on “scare patrol.”

Few things in life are as much fun as sneaking up on unsuspecting souls as a bloody vampire in the dark shadows of Boot Hill Cemetery. On the flipside, nothing is more humiliating than slipping on a spilled Coke while chasing cuties in the middle of Ghost Town. Dracula down! Face-planted with a couple of scraped kneecaps, I lay on the road for several minutes like an undead nocturnal slug. Having my cape clumsily draped over my head was the cherry on top. Instead of a wooden stake, I was thrown a life preserver when a girl poked the small of my back to check if I were still alive, and that was my cue to jump up and scream like Frankenstein passing a stone. The hilarity of it all eclipsed the pain.

As my bestie Barbra would sing, these are the misty water-colored memories of the way we were. It’s kinda strange when you think about it — recollections of a part-time job dating back some 45 years that are so fond and vivid they feel like yesterday. Could Knott’s be my personal Rosebud from “Citizen Kane?” Time will tell. All I know is how wonderful it was to give my blood, sweat and tears of laughter to Knott’s Berry Farm.

Best job ever.

Taking place every day in an elegant lounge with a grand piano and panoramic windows, this tasteful and tasty event is as much a signature of the upper-crust cruise line as the Bernardaud French porcelain used for the cups of aromatic tea and three-plate towers of sumptuous savory and sweet selections served by staff up on their English tea culture.

There’s no grand entrance of parading waiters carrying trays and teapots to classical music and cheering patrons — leave that to the British-bred Cunard cruise line — but Seabourn does offer something that its sister Carnival Corporation brand doesn’t at afternoon tea: a sand clock on the table so that the infused leaves are steeped to your preferred strength.

Classy as all this sounds, the most impressive aspect about Seabourn’s mid-afternoon tradition, and this is indicative of the cruise line, itself, is a crew so attentive that when a guest was observed using his cloth napkin to wipe a smudge off his eyeglasses, within seconds an assistant waiter silently placed an individually wrapped lens cleaner on the table. His smooth and discreet gesture was followed by another — that of bringing a second fresh apple-cinnamon scone, with clotted cream and strawberry jam, of course, to another guest. “I was just about to ask you for another one of those,” the passenger told the mind-reading waiter whose smile lit up the room through my spotless eyeglasses.

Such random acts of kindness seem to be less random the loftier the cruise category, as it should be when spending perhaps five times more than normal for an ultra-luxury cruise. Getting what you pay for not only has your inner monologue repeatedly saying, “it’s the little things that count,” you’re also enjoying a swankier and smaller ship with capacities in the hundreds and not the thousands, cuisine cooked up by chefs with “Michelin” somewhere on their résumés, and a well-appointed suite that comes with a pillow menu and either a five-star cabin steward or quasi-personal butler, depending on the cruise line.

Silversea, the largest ultra-luxury brand and the only one of the biggies to provide a butler across all stateroom categories, sails 13 ships. Seabourn has seven vessels and Regent Seven Seas’ fleet numbers six. These well-heeled brands of the Royal Caribbean, Carnival and Norwegian corporate portfolios, respectively, are all leaders within the same category, but comparing them isn’t apples to apples to apples. It’s more gala to red delicious to honeycrisp — all varieties of the same fruit, but each has its own flavor.

For this 61-time cruiser, and possibly Goldilocks, too, Seabourn isn’t too pampering like Silversea or too relaxed like Regent Seven Seas – it’s just right. We say this with respect to the many who adore being coddled to the point of excessiveness and others who appreciate quality service without all the fuss. Still, a happy middle ground may be more in tune with luxury cruising in these sociocultural-changing 2020s.

Using a real example, getting up from the dinner table on a Silversea cruise earlier this year immediately set three dutiful waiters in motion: One pulled out my chair, another smoothed out my blazer and a third took off the lobster bib I didn’t want in the first place. A similar scenario on Regent Seven Seas activated a single, courteous waiter who only tended to my chair. On Seabourn, as my server assisted with the seat, the sommelier asked if I wanted my half-finished bottle of Riesling kept chilled for the next evening. Not too much, not too little. As said, just right.

That also goes for the dress codes across the toniest of categories. The same dark blue Tommy Bahama jeans that had a Silversea Silver Moon maître d’ showing me the door on a supposed “casual night” earlier this year off the coast of Brazil were welcome in the exclusive The Grill by Thomas Keller aboard Seabourn Odyssey the other week in the Alaskan fjords.

Good thing, too, because the chef and proprietor best known for The French Laundry in Napa Valley not only delights guests with amazing lobster thermidor, rib-eye, Dover sole and a classic Caesar salad prepared tableside at The Grill, his recipes find their way at The Colonnade, a buffet-a la carte hybrid restaurant that a few times a cruise features some of Keller’s best comfort foods. The buttermilk fried chicken and whipped goat cheese spread with drop biscuits are especially worth the calories.

If the rest of Seabourn’s fleet has an executive chef as talented as J.P. Keene, the cruise line doesn’t need to rely on Keller’s signature cuisine to please passengers’ palates. In addition to the best selection of sweet and savory found at a floating afternoon tea, winning dishes include the quiche-like gruyere tart, tamarind-kissed grilled jumbo shrimp and potato gnocchi starter in The Restaurant (Seabourn’s main dining room); the to-die-for baklava in The Colonnade; and pretty much everything served at The Patio, an exciting poolside option when feeling naughty (try the perfectly charred pizza by the slice and tempting desserts) or healthy (great fish dishes and terrific ingredients to make your own salad, including 10 different seeds and grains for us crunch lovers).

Putting down the fork and knife, Seabourn scores with its spa and wellness facilities, too. Treatments and services are like what’s offered on other ships that contract with cruise-dominating One Spa World, which is a good thing — just as is an understatedly beautiful environment on Seabourn’s Odyssey-class ships.

Moving on to entertainment, talented guest artists come and go depending on the cruise, but one marvelous mainstay is a salute to EGOT-winning lyricist Tim Rice. “The Circle of My Life,” an update of previous Seabourn shows celebrating the knighted wordsmith, is brought to life by a talented ensemble of singers and dancers that does justice to an hour’s worth of Rice’s collaborations with Andrew Lloyd Webber, Elton John, Alan Menken and others. Hits and deep tracks from stage and screen are pulled from the likes of “The Lion King,” “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,” “Jesus Christ Superstar,” “Aladdin” and “Evita.”

Other “Seabourn Signature Events” enhance a few of the paradises where the cruise line goes. In Carambola Beach in St. Kitts and Ko Kood in Thailand, guests enjoy Champagne and caviar right there in the water. Even cooler, the delicacies are served by waiters who are in full uniform, yet also waist high along the shore. No napkins needed. On select Mediterranean itineraries, “Evening at Ephesus” invites passengers to a private cocktail party at the Turkish archaeological wonder. Magic is made at the Epicurean & Officers Deck Farewell, which happens on the final night of every Seabourn cruise. Good food, good drinks and good times make for a great sendoff with or without a slice of the most mouthwatering cakes on the ship.

Many Seabourn voyages include a “Marina Day” that has the ship emptying out as much of its recreational equipment as conditions and time allow. We’re talking kayaks, paddleboards, banana boats and other watersport fun launched directly from the vessel’s retractable marina platform. On other scenic stops, such as the majestic Mysty Fjords in Alaska’s Rudyerd Bay, guests board Zodiacs from the side to explore nature’s masterwork up-close and personal.

Speaking of shore excursions, while Silversea and Regent Seven Seas throw them in with the fare, save for the more extravagant tours, Seabourn doesn’t. That could explain why you might find lower prices with Seabourn, but bear in mind that variables exist across the brands; when it comes to inclusions, airfare, specialty dining, internet, butler service and other factors may not be — you got it — apples to apples.

For Southern Californians interested in bobbing for Seabourn’s apples, two of the cruise line’s five ocean ships will combine for the most itineraries embarking out of Los Angeles by an ultra-luxury cruise line in 2024. The 450-passenger Seabourn Sojourn departs from San Pedro on Jan. 11 with voyages ranging from 29 to 145 days. Also next year, Nov. 27 to be exact, Seabourn Quest, sister ship to both Sojourn and Odyssey, begins adventures of 32 or 46 days in time for guests to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner on their first full day at sea. A complete list of itineraries, including those on Seabourn’s two expedition ships, is available at seabourn.com.

Since we’re paraphrasing the theme song of the classic TV series, “The Love Boat,” let’s dive right in, starting with the brand featured in the naughty and nautical show of the ‘70s and ‘80s.

Princess Cruises is about to make tasty waves with the new Sun Princess. Scheduled for a February debut, the future flagship of the Santa Clarita-based premium-class cruise line will set fleet records for passenger capacity (4,314) and gross tons (175,500), which is maritime speak for internal volume. Notable features include The Dome, an innovative entertainment space inspired by the terraces of Santorini, Greece. Sun Princess will earn her sea legs in the Mediterranean before homeporting in Port Everglades (Fort Lauderdale) for five months of Caribbean itineraries starting in October.

Before the Sun rises in the east, Royal Caribbean International will officially unveil its own all-time heavyweight champ in January. The big difference is that Icon of the Seas is the largest cruise ship … ever. The namesake of three planned Icon-class, mainstream-category ocean liners can accommodate 7,600 passengers when maxed out, roughly 1,200 more than RCI’s previous record-holder, Wonder of the Seas and its sixth Oasis-class sibling under construction, Utopia of the Seas that is slated for a summer 2024 debut. Within Icon’s 20 decks and 250,800 gross tons will be the largest at-sea water park and ice rink, the industry’s first suspended infinity pool and the tallest drop slide.

No such records will be broken when the more modest Carnival Firenze makes her May debut at the Port of Long Beach. And that’s totally fine with Carnival as this 4,072-guest “Fun Ship” is destined for the Mexican Riviera and not the Guinness Book of World Records. Firenze is the second of two former Costa Cruises ships to be rechristened under a different brand. Like on her older sister, the Carnival Venezia that moves from New York to Florida this December, Firenze passengers can expect generous sprinkles of oregano from bow to stern. Even the addition of a Guy’s Burger Joint comes with a new Italian-influenced menu item straight from Flavortown: the Pepperoni Pizza Burger with fried mozzarella, pepperoni marinara, provolone, aged parmesan and Guy Fieri’s own Donkey Sauce.

Aboard Cunard’s new Queen Anne, a favorite guilty pleasure for its British-skewing guests will undoubtedly be scones with clotted cream and jam. Not everything will be according to tradition on Queen Anne as Cunard is hoping to appeal to a wider audience (read: younger) by coming out with its most contemporary ship ever. Come May, Queen Anne will be Cunard’s fourth active ship, the first time the upper-premium brand has sailed that many at the same time since 1999. The 3,000-passenger vessel will sport a whopping 4,300 art pieces, many of the modern variety, and “celebrate Cunard’s past with a modern twist,” as promised by Matt Gleaves, VP, Commercial — North America and Australasia in a recent chat. To his point, Queen Anne is going with an art deco design, a trend-following cabaret-style entertainment venue and fleet-first dining concepts (Japanese, Mediterranean and Indian) to go with a revamped menu at the always-lively Golden Lion Pub.

Staying within the premium category, everyone’s favorite Mickey Mouse cruise line operation is unburying Disney Treasure in late 2024. If the second of three planned Triton-class ships is anything like the first, the 2022-debuting Wish, then Disney adults (and children) can expect a treasure trove of maritime merriment and memories. The future flagship is said to have more of a fairy tale-meets-adventure vibe than Wish. Disney is being its usual tight-lipped selves in terms of details about the 4,000-passenger ship, so stay tuned.

In November, Celebrity Cruises plans to launch its fourth and final Edge-class cruise ship. The 3,260-guest Ascent will have reimagined entertainment venues and three newly designed restaurants not found on siblings Edge, Apex and Beyond. Like the others, however, Ascent will have the signature feature that gives Edge class its edge: The Magic Carpet, a movable piece of real estate that serves as a restaurant, bar and embarkation area across 14 decks. Celebrity’s future flagship will sail to the Caribbean from Fort Lauderdale except when not galivanting around the Mediterranean from late spring to early fall.

Moving on up, Regent Seven Seas brings its new flagship — the supposed most expensive luxury cruise ship ever built — to Southern California in January. The $545-million Seven Seas Grandeur will have completed only four itineraries before pulling into San Pedro’s World Cruise Center to pick up as many as 746 passengers going on a 16-night voyage to Miami via the Panama Canal.

Another ultra-luxury cruise line, Silversea, debuts its second Nova-class ship in June. The 728-guest Silver Ray will spend her inaugural season in the Mediterranean, then in December 2024 come out to Florida to prep for a 72-day Grand Voyage around South America.

A more intimate luxury experience will be on the 100-passenger Emerald Sakara, which debuts this month in the Mediterranean, but doesn’t have its christening ceremony until December in the Caribbean. The super-yacht is a sister to Emerald Azzurra, which launched in January 2022 and marked the foray of ocean cruising by a line that previously only navigated rivers. Both crafts feature an onboard wellness center with spa, gym and sauna, three tenders and a Zodiac for shore landings. Local flavors enjoyed at three onboard dining locales can be burned off by snorkeling, paddle boarding and swimming off the yacht’s marina platform.

Norwegian Viva: First Impressions

Back from sailing on one of the more exciting ships with rookie seasons in 2023-24, we can report that the two-month delay for Viva’s maiden voyage was worth the wait. The Norwegian Viva, which replaces Prima as Norwegian Cruise Line’s flagship, scores high on service, food and beverage, ship design and, yes, even thrills with a multi-deck go-kart track and a fleet-debuting virtual reality ride, Viva made a wonderful first impression — just as her older Prima-class sister did a year ago. NCL a mainstream cruise line? Not with these “upper-contemporary” siblings.

You know a ship is full of style when even the main dining room impresses. Hudson’s, Viva’s largest restaurant, looks lavishly luxe with elegant appointments and 270-degree views through floor-to-ceiling windows. Opulent Le Bistro, the ship’s French restaurant, has three large chandeliers in the center that are hung low for dramatic effect. The epitome of poshness is found in The Haven, NCL’s five-star “ship within a ship” concept that is so exclusive on Viva, only 107 of her 1,586 staterooms are within this tony suite community.

NCL is going all-in with these ships through the remainder of the decade. Four more Prima-class vessels are planned for roll-outs between 2025 and 2028, and each will be 10 to 20 percent larger than the initial two that share the same passenger capacity (3,099) and gross tonnage (143,535). Identical twins they are not, however. Differences between Prima and Viva are subtle and sparing, but they clearly prove that NCL takes those passenger surveys to heart.

Enhancements observed on Viva include increased standing room in both the Improv comedy club and adjacent Syd Norman’s Pour House concert hall. Tweaks to where food and drink are served include more seats inside and outside the globally eclectic Indulge Food Hall. The least popular experiences in the VR-loaded Galaxy Pavilion on Prima aren’t on Viva, a good call that allows for a satisfying fleet debut of Gyro, a combo simulator thrill ride and shooting game.

Speaking of games, an audience-participation version of TV’s “Press Your Luck,” the show known for the catchphrase, “No whammys!” is now on Viva after a delay, as is a scaled-down adaptation of the Tony Award-nominated “Beetlejuice: The Musical” in the 800-seat, triple-deck Viva Theater.

More good times are found when taking the plunge on the ship’s two dry slides and one waterslide. For a pure adrenaline rush, there’s that Gyro ride and Viva Speedway, which now is the second three-level race track at sea.

All this fun and excitement can build up one’s appetite. Good thing there’s some decent grub on board. The best fast-serve Indian food at sea is at Tamara, one of the 11 stations within Indulge. What a treat eating amazing chicken tikka masala and saag paneer with naan bread (not pita!) freshly baked in an actual tandoor oven, a cruising rarity, and this ship has two.

You get what you pay for at a couple of Viva’s upcharging specialty restaurants. The monkfish, tuna crudo and citrusy galaktoboureko dessert at Mediterranean-themed Palomar are winners. So are the tuna poke nachos and “Green Tea Jar” dessert at pan-Pacific-inspired Food Republic. Other fee-based dining either didn’t impress or went untried.

Accommodations-wise, the largest is the 2,100-square-foot “Haven Premier Owner’s Suite with Balcony” that sleeps eight. There’s two of those and 94 others that will appeal to social solo travelers; the single-occupancy, 308-square-foot “Studio” staterooms come with a dedicated lounge for an upscale hostel vibe.

Did we mention that Viva is one of the prettiest ships in the industry’s armada? Adorning an already aesthetic vessel is original artwork inside and out. A selfie-worthy sculpture garden graces strollable Ocean Boulevard, an outdoor promenade on Deck 8 that encircles the ship. Indoors, specifically along a wall of the Metropolitan Bar on Deck 7, is where the eye-catching “Every Wing Has a Silver Lining” is mounted. The 52-foot-wide interactive digital artwork by British artist Dominic Harris consists of 48 million pixels that form over 2,000 fluttering butterflies when activated by a passing hand. It’s the pièce de resistance of a ship lacking only an iconic feature.

Norwegian Viva sails the Mediterranean before heading to Miami for a Nov. 28 christening ceremony. From December 2023 to March 2024 she will homeport in Puerto Rico for a series of Caribbean itineraries.

A cruise line being added to the list of brand favorites brought back from the dead is nothing short of a maritime miracle on the heels of a pandemic. But when the gorgeous Crystal Serenity pulled into Lisbon the other week, completing a 12-night maiden voyage in the Mediterranean, so returned industry darling Crystal Cruises (crystalcruises.com).

For its ardent and affluent following, the 1 1/2 years spent lamenting over their loss must have been rough — not unlike being without one’s favorite cellophane-wrapped snack cake or pair of children’s retailers. The hardship could be felt all the way in South America. Several months ago, off the coast of French Guiana on another ultra-luxury cruise line, a senior-aged woman from California felt the need to tell a travel writer that she and her BFF were only sailing with Silversea “because our favorite, Crystal, is gone.”

Well, if Mark Twain cruised luxury liners instead of riverboats, he’d say that the report of Crystal’s death is an exaggeration. Administering the CPR that resuscitated the adored symmetrical crowned seahorse logo is a company with a long history of lux travel. A&K Travel Group, the parent company of tony tour operator Abercrombie & Kent, purchased two original Crystal ships: Serenity and Symphony. Recently returned from a recent “shakedown” cruise, this fan of the brand can confidentially say that if the preview sail is indicative of what cruise life is like under the new ownership, Crystal is in good, well-manicured hands.

In many ways, the cruise line is better than ever — and that’s saying a lot for a brand that for three decades had made good on the promise of “delivering the exceptional.” What was great before still is, down to the bar-raising genuine hospitality of the crew and OMG-worthy miso-marinated black cod at Umi Uma. And what had been somewhat lacking by Crystal standards — the entertainment is top of mind — is now extraordinary.

Two different production shows a night being the norm is one area where Crystal’s new stewardship is spending the big bucks. Such robust evening programming is unheard of on ultra-luxury-class ships.

Within a year of buying the orphaned Serenity and Symphony, launched in 2002 and 1995, respectively, A&K went down to the steel to renovate these floating five-star resorts. Whereas other companies would be tempted to increase density for higher revenue per square foot — as Windstar did when it cut Star Breeze’s hull to seamlessly insert a 50-cabin section, and when Cunard sliced the back of its Queen Victoria to add 43 new staterooms — A&K actually has reduced passenger capacity with both acquired vessels by, among other waves of a magic wand, enlarging suites by combining adjoining cabins. As a result, Serenity now maxes out at a slender 740, down from 980 pre-sale. Its bones are actually built for 1,080 guests; the ship’s first successful liposuction was performed during a refit in 2017. The older Symphony, which begins service in September, now holds 606 passengers, down from 848.

All this shape shifting has resulted in Crystal now sporting perhaps the best guest-to-space ratio in the industry. On Serenity, returning guests will first notice the wide, open spaces in the two-deck Atrium, a lovely location for lounging, libating and listening to live music. The rebuilds have spawned redesigned stateroom categories from as large as the 1,265-square foot Crystal Penthouse Suite with custom stone foyer floor master bath, to the 215-square-foot, oddly named Double Guest Room that comes with a veranda or ocean view, but not the nasty single supplement that punishes solo travelers.

The sweet spot for accommodations is the Sapphire Verandah Suite, and they make up 151 of the 377 staterooms on Serenity. It’s a shame to call them a standard suite because they measure a nonstandard 537 square feet. The equally plus-sized balcony adds another 107 to the floor plan.

Reincarnated Crystal is still as classy as ever, just like Serenity’s godmother, Dame Julie Andrews, whose portrait still hangs proudly on Deck 5. Crystal’s signature Palm Court six levels higher out-panaches rival observation lounges with panoramic floor-to-ceiling windows, large skylights and sweeping unpretentious elegance that makes an afternoon tea and nighttime dancing on the hardwood even more special.

The 500-seat Galaxy Lounge and smaller Stardust Club are the main entertainment venues aboard Serenity. The bigger stage is home to production shows that freshen up old material with some of the best singers and dancers afloat. “Crystal on Broadway” threads selections from “Rent,” “West Side Story” and the lesser-known, and thus refreshing, Renaissance-set musical comedy “Something Rotten!” Was that an “F-word” and “S-word” we just heard? On a cruise ship? Yup, Crystal is that cool.

Something else that’s cool and definitely not rotten is signing James Fox of Broadway and London’s West End fame to bring his musical talents on Serenity and Symphony. The versatile and personable performer does right by Billy Joel, a natural program inclusion as Fox starred in the Piano Man’s jukebox musical “Moving Out.” On another night he will present “My Influences” that features personal favorites from an array of artists and accompanied by a solid seven-piece band.

Unlike the competition, entertainment abounds on Crystal day and night. Besides the largest venues, there’s the Avenue Saloon piano bar, atrium-set Crystal Cove featuring rotating international musicians, a movie theater, dance parties poolside and inside, and standup comics who, on Symphony, will yuck it up in Crystal’s first dedicated comedy club. Always a hit is the Crystal White Dress Party hosted on every cruise.

More diversion is found on the top deck for a go of paddle tennis, pickleball, golf practice and ping-pong. Elsewhere are venues for swimming, hot-tubbing, dancing, and, inside an impressive 3,000-square-foot fitness center, exercising. Children and teens get dedicated spaces, as do smokers; American cigar aficionados will appreciate being able to legally light up real Cubans, with or without a fine cognac, at the lordly Connoisseur Club.

Neither Crystal ship has a casino anymore as gambling isn’t in the cards for the new owners. But you can still lose your shirt getting a massage at the Aurora spa. Rejuvenation of the body, mind and soul are just an appointment away.

In addition to the usual treatments, Aurora can work on your bloat and fatigue, and has skin-correcting light simulation therapy on the menu. Besides its name — Aurora is the goddess of dawn — light also factors in the spa’s décor; materials used in the common areas purposely reflect and refract natural sunshine with shimmering splendor. One nit: The absence of refreshment in the waiting room is a miss. A spa without detox water is like a cruise ship without an Italian specialty restaurant.

Great segue, because Crystal has that, too. Northern Italian cuisine is what’s on the menu at Osteria d’Ovidio, which replaces Prego from the previous generation. While nothing can beat the osso buco or signature cream of mushroom soup from before, the tortello pasta filled with braised beef, figs and gorgonzola cheese, washed down with a tasty peach bellini, have the new concept showing promise.

The other specialty restaurant, Umi Uma, maintains Crystal’s association with celebrity chef and restaurateur Nobu Matsuhisa, a master at marrying traditional Japanese dishes with Peruvian ingredients. Winners on the menu include the yellow jalapeño cold dish and aforementioned black cod marinated in Saikyo miso, a richer, sweeter glaze than its saltier cousins. Also sweet is that everyone gets to enjoy the two specialty restaurants at least once a cruise without a surcharge — a nice treat when an order of that amazing cod runs $50 at land-based Nobu locations in Newport Beach, Malibu, West Hollywood and around the world.

The other eateries on the ship, from the more casual grill and buffet to a sit-down tapas kitchen and main dining room, are no worse or better than Regent Seven Seas, Seabourn and Silversea. One standout among the revamped non-specialty fare on Crystal is the split pea burger, and this is coming from a strict omnivore.

Be it as minor as a new vegetarian dish in the buffet or as major as a ship rebuild, Crystal is clearly not cutting corners as it returns to service under A&K’s stewardship. In fact, the only noticeable sign of downsizing by the new owners is the name. “Crystal Cruises” has been trimmed to just “Crystal,” but good luck getting the majority of those currently booked to change their old ways. That’s because 8 of 10 signed on to sail with Crystal through 2024 are returning passengers, according to Cristina Levis, CEO of A&K Travel Group.

Eighty percent also is the number of laid-off Crystal workers who were brought back by the new owners. Seeing familiar faces goes a long way with brand-loyal Crystal cruisers, especially when they’re spending a reported average of $18,000 per booking. That amount should rise now that Crystal is part of a portfolio that includes Abercrombie & Kent, a global travel network known for curating experiential travel. Shore excursions and other land-based cruise extensions should get a whole lot better on sails to Alaska, the Mediterranean, Northern Europe, Canada/New England, the Caribbean, the Middle East, Asia, Australia, New Zealand and through the Panama Canal.

Voyages out of California, all on Serenity, include an eight-night itinerary from San Diego to Vancouver that embarks on June 24 (fares start at $3,600 per person), and a six-nighter from Los Angeles to Vancouver starting Aug. 21 ($2,700 and up per guest). Both journeys include calls in San Francisco and Astoria, Ore. Got the cruise fever for more Crystal? A pair of world cruise itineraries of 125 or 141 nights, the latter adding a Panama Canal segment, depart from San Diego on Feb. 3.

Looking beyond next year, the 2025 itineraries are being announced soon, and Crystal disclosed on the shakedown that four more ships are planned to join the fleet by 2029. The first two — a classic ocean liner with a capacity of about 650 passengers, and an ice-class expedition vessel that holds roughly 220 guests — could begin construction as early as June. That will increase A&K’s Crystal collection to six stylish ships.

Not bad for a cruise line that less than two years ago had a burial at sea.

Typically, megaships that sail out of the U.S. make these announcements in English, and depending on the demographics of the embarkation port, Spanish translation may follow. This makes total sense and the whole interruption usually lasts only a couple of minutes. Having spoken with many cruise directors over the course of 57 sailings, 46 aboard megaships — meaning they have at least 1,500 cabins — it’s clear that Carnival, Royal Caribbean and Norwegian really do try to keep these announcements to a minimum so as not to disturb the guests.

And then there’s MSC Cruises, a name you probably never heard of and yet is the third-largest cruise line in the world. Blared into staterooms and common areas day and night are such super-critical messages as how to activate your onboard account to pay for what’s not included in the fare, which is a lot on value-priced MSC (msccruises.com). That particular announcement is made fleetwide over multiple days and always in English, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, French and German — one after the other. The only boat ride with more official languages is “It’s a Small World.”

The novelty of loud incessant international infomercials interrupting a nap, let alone a vacation, gets old fast aboard MSC. The more tolerant will see this as a company simply catering to a core customer base that doesn’t speak English either as a first language or at all. Roughly 80% of guests were of that group, according to ship personnel aboard the MSC Seascape the other week on a jam-packed Western Caribbean cruise out of Florida.

MSC isn’t a household name in the U.S. — at least not yet — but it enjoys a huge following in Europe, South America and southern Africa. Such loyalty is why MSC, short for Mediterranean Shipping Company, is only topped in market share by Carnival and Royal Caribbean, and boasts a fleet with eight of the world’s 20 largest passenger ships. Remove Royal Caribbean from the list and MSC has the biggest afloat, as in the 6,762-guest World Europa that launched in December.

Impressive as that is, MSC, the fastest-growing cruise brand on the planet, has yet to commit to one corner of the globe: the West Coast. Tradewinds hint that MSC will start sailing to Alaska and the Mexican Riviera later this decade, but, officially, the company will get its sea legs in the Gulf of Mexico before dipping its toes in the Pacific. MSC is in negotiations with the Port of Galveston on a new terminal that may host cruises to the Caribbean as early as 2025. Galveston, an hour’s drive south of Houston, will give MSC four homeports in the U.S.; the Italian-founded, Swiss-based company currently sails in and out of Port Canaveral (near Orlando), Miami and just-added New York City.

The 5,714-passenger MSC Meraviglia launched the brand’s third U.S. homeport in Brooklyn in April, offering year-round itineraries to the Bahamas and Florida, Canada and New England, and Bermuda. For the upcoming 2023-2024 winter season, MSC is scheduled to sail a record five ships in the U.S. alone.

Ship life on MSC

One of those vessels is the year-old, 5,877-passenger Seascape. Homeported in exciting Miami through at least the end of 2024, the 20-deck ship offers two different 7-night Caribbean itineraries that can be booked back-to-back with the only repeat, besides Miami, being MSC’s private destination in the Bahamas. The Western Caribbean sail goes to Jamaica, Cayman Islands, Mexico and the exclusive Ocean Cay MSC Marine Reserve a mere 65 miles from the Florida coast. The Eastern leg visits Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, the Bahamas and the private island.

The option to go short or long in the Caribbean is unique, but seven days on an MSC ship can be challenging enough let alone doing two straight weeks. Don’t get this voyage veteran wrong — MSC does some really cool things the others don’t, and Seascape, one of the fleet’s newest, is stunning from bow to stern. But if the cruise line wants a successful expansion into the U.S. market, it has to do better than what was experienced earlier this month.

Even with allowances for being a sold-out high-season cruise with kids galore, Seascape often felt chaotic and claustrophobic at the pools, waterpark, buffet and organized parties. Lines, if you can even call them that, were routinely 10 to 15 people deep at the one (one!) soft serve machine that took forever because the person manning it doubled as a bartender. Those hard-to-get cones weren’t even included in the fare as they are on the competition. (More on that later.)

Inconsistent and unenforced policies were more alarming as they contributed to expletive-filled exchanges among passengers — even from senior citizens dolled up on formal night. Perhaps some were on edge due to all three main elevator banks malfunctioning the entire cruise and food quality being generally poor, even at Butcher’s Cut, the ship’s pinnacle specialty restaurant. When ordering a baked potato at the steakhouse, does one really have to ask the waiter to hold the chives and strand of black hair? Even the lone pinball machine in the sports bar was broken. A stuck left flipper is a minor thing on its own, but combining that with all the other snafus could deter first-time MSC cruisers from coming back — something the company must address as it expands in a saturated U.S. market.

The current Seascape crew has some real gems among them. Sadly, the best and brightest were overshadowed by the worst and dimmest. Many workers on the cruise looked the other way when problems arose, from dropped pizza slices and spilled drinks in the middle of the busiest sections of the buffet to passengers smoking on their balconies and vaping next to children.

A handful of the staff actually was combative with guests. In their undeserved defense, these were some of the most disobedient and impolite cruisers personally observed.

Not to beat a dead seahorse, but before several shows in the large Chora Theatre, verbal threats were exchanged when families feuded over seat saving, and other passengers were abused when they politely asked that a wild child stop treating the theater like it was the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese’s … at the 9:30 late performance, too. Shame on MSC for not taking control even after security was warned moments earlier that tempers were about to escalate. Neither security nor anyone with an MSC badge was present when boiling points were reached. Trust me, they got a mouthful from at least two victims of this maritime mayhem.

The good parts

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?” Well, odd as this sounds, much of this first-time MSC experience was terrific. The cabins certainly were, whatever the category. Sure, you get what you pay for, but even the standard inside stateroom looked totally livable. A few notches higher is the “Premium Suite Aurea with Whirlpool,” which sleeps four and comes with an outdoor hot tub, walk-in closet, bath-shower combo and perks at the massive and luxurious Aurea Spa — one of the best wellness centers at sea.

The production shows were excellent, though we can’t speak for the final one due to an unfortunate, but necessary pre-curtain departure. If this cast of singers and dancers is indicative of the quality staged across MSC’s growing 23-ship fleet, then bravo and brava to those behind making tired cruise standards from the ‘60s through ‘90s fresh again. Over at Le Cabaret Rouge, the parade of entertainers was headlined by the uber-talented Sammulous. Backed by a stellar international band on his rendition of Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven,” the 28-year-old dynamo delivered the single-most impressive cruise performance I’ve ever seen. That he didn’t win season 12 of “America’s Got Talent” is a travesty.

Also worthy of a standing ovation — in a swimsuit — is Pirates Cove Aquapark, a blast for all ages except at peak times. The ship’s mix of thrill and VR experiences is also impressive, and none more exciting than the outdoor Robotron ($10) that has riders flipping up and down and all around for several minutes 174 feet above sea level. For a free thrill, cross the glass-bottom Bridge of Sighs on the 16th deck.

Best among the ship’s five specialty restaurants, and it’s not even close, is Kaito Teppanyaki. With capable and comical chefs, a warm and welcoming staff, clean and comfortable environs, and food as delicious as it is generous, Kaito is reminiscent of Benihana’s long-gone glory days.

Average base fares on MSC are some of the cheapest in the mainstream category. Seven-night Caribbean cruises out of South Florida were going for as low as $349 per person, plus taxes and fees, at press time. Generally, MSC runs several hundred dollars less than Carnival, Royal Caribbean and Norwegian for similar cruises and cabins. Using an apples-to-oranges comparison, what a 3-night cruise in an inside stateroom costs on premium-class Disney can get you a balcony cabin on a 7-night sail with MSC. That said, with so many upcharges, such as soft serve ice cream, all room service deliveries, and too many items that cost extra in specialty restaurants that already cost extra, an MSC cruise can actually wind up costing more in the long run. Kinda like flying on Spirit or Frontier. How low can you go?

For anyone who avoids ultra-low-cost air carriers yet is curious about trying MSC, we have two words for you: Yacht Club. Strutting around the toniest parcels of real estate on Seascape and other MSC ships gives one a feeling of being on a cruise within a cruise. A standard balcony suite in this sanctuary starts at about $7,000 a couple on a 7-night Caribbean cruise. Elegance begins with a more civilized embarkation process in port and continues onboard with mostly winning meals at the dedicated gourmet restaurant and poolside buffet (both awesome), 24-hour butler and room service, special concierge desk, the ship’s best drink and internet packages, perks at the spa, afternoon tea, exclusive pools and lounges, and priority over everyone else at so many places it’s silly.

One manager at Seascape’s best address said it’s common for the ship’s most elite guests to spend most of their cruise in the safe and sophisticated confines of the MSC Yacht Club. “They’ll tell me they went outside only to come right back,” he said proudly.

Didn’t have the heart to tell him that’s actually not a good thing.

• See more: Has misuse taken the spark out of fireworks in California?

Los Angeles County

• Alhambra
• Artesia
• Azusa
• Baldwin Park
• Bellflower
• Carson
• Commerce
• Compton
• Cudahy
• Downey
• El Monte
• Gardena
• Hawaiian Gardens
• Hawthorne
• Huntington Park
• Industry
• Inglewood
• Irwindale
• La Mirada
• La Puente
• Lakewood
• Lawndale
• Lynwood
• Maywood
• Montebello
• Monterey Park
• Norwalk
• Palmdale
• Paramount
• Pico Rivera
• Rosemead
• Santa Fe Springs
• South El Monte
• South Gate
• Temple City
• Vernon

• See more: 2023 fireworks buying guide: Which state-approved pyrotechnics are worth the price?

Orange County

• Anaheim
• Buena Park
• Costa Mesa
• Fullerton
• Garden Grove
• Huntington Beach
• Los Alamitos
• Santa Ana
• Stanton
• Villa Park
• Westminster

Riverside County

• Blythe
• Coachella
• Desert Hot Springs
• Indio

San Bernardino County

• Adelanto
• Barstow
• Chino
• Colton
• Fontana
• Grand Terrace
• Needles
• Rialto
• San Bernardino

As only nonprofits can legally sell fireworks in California, chances are the hard-working, perspiring volunteers inside each booth haven’t seen the new products to knowledgeably respond to all the FAQs. It’s even less likely they know what the competition is selling. Their focus over the days leading up to America’s 247th birthday isn’t to be pyro proficient, but raise funds to send more kids to bible camp or provide eyeglasses to the underprivileged or subsidize new uniforms for a youth sports team.

For our annual and unbiased fireworks buyer’s guide, every new item for the 2023 California season was recently put to the test at a neutral site: a fire station. Ratings are based on performance, duration, distinctiveness and value in comparison with what else is being sold this season in partnership with TNT Fireworks, Phantom Fireworks and Discount Fireworks Superstore. Products are listed by price, high to low.

• See more: These 60 Southern California cities permit state-approved fireworks

Let the sparks fly!

Brain Buster (TNT), $79.99 — For 15 seconds near the end, white sparks shoot out from all four sides for a unique theater-in-the-round effect. It’s cool, but not worth spending double for a fountain that is mostly mundane crackling sparks. 90 seconds; 3 stars

TNT Barrel (TNT), $54.99 — Discontinued for a decade, the classic TNT Fountain that debuted in 2002 returns with a similar performance and more apropos name. Still lacks height, but a barrel of fun with multi-color stars and rain effect, silver glitter, and silver chrysanthemum with crackle. 104 seconds; 4 stars

Lava Panther (TNT), $49.99 — Nicely choreographed fountain with mesmerizing smoke globs complements of the chemical nitrocellulose. Love the subtle palms and crackling sparks that rebuff California’s 10-foot distance rule. 60 seconds; 4 stars

Tidal Wave (TNT), $49.99 — Identical in price and similar in effects to fellow freshman Lava Panther, but outlasts the big cat in a race between rookies.100 seconds; 5 stars

• See more: Has misuse taken the spark out of fireworks in California?

King Fish (DFS), $42.42 — Be careful what you wish for, which in this case is a fountain of only colorful smokeless globs lasting over a minute. King Fish is a dream come true, but it’s a dull one as the law of diminishing returns applies due to repetitiveness. Originally a TNT product, this pretty, but pretty boring and ill-named fountain (there’s no fish effect) will win points with pet owners for being virtually silent. 67 seconds; 2 stars

Fruit Bowl (TNT), $34.99 for four — Fruity fountains produce a pleasing bushel of effects. There’s no nutritional value from this banana, strawberry, grape and pear, but there is entertainment value. 28 seconds each; 3 stars

Crypto (TNT), $29.99 — Opens with gorgeous, unique shimmers, transitioning to two series of wide-spreading sparks gladly interrupted by the always-awesome swarming fish effect. Considering today’s lofty prices, this one is a solid buy. 67 seconds; 5 stars

Bomb Pop (DFS), $28.28 — Medium-altitude white crackling sparks, and that’s about it. No bomb with little pop for this California newcomer sold under the TNT brand elsewhere since last year. 100 seconds; 2 stars

Magic Seashell (TNT), $19.99 — If spending $80 for TNT’s best fan fountain is too dear, then this is an adequate alternative to Delirium. Fish and crackles are interspersed with plenty of color. (FYI, Delirium has a twin in Phantom’s Coral Reef, selling this year for $110 for two.) 49 seconds; 3 stars

Dino Egg Nest (TNT), $17.99 — If you think fresh eggs are expensive these days, try the kind that’s $3 each. Clearly, there’s a premium on eggs laid by dinosaurs instead of hens, and these half-dozen crackle and flash. Welcome to Jurassic Spark! 20 seconds each; 3 stars

Fairy Wands (TNT), $15.99 for five — Fairy dust has definitely been sprinkled on this box of assorted colors because it’s one of the few decent handheld fireworks in the safe and sane category. Long duration, nice sparks, lots of fun, safer than a morning glory. 80 seconds; 4 stars

Beast Slayer (DFS), $9.99 — Sword-shaped handheld is like many novelties that look cooler unlit. Sparks emitting from the tip might be fun for adult-supervised youngsters. Two bucks cheaper than TNT’s similar Mighty Sword that premiered a year ago and $3 less than Phantom’s shorter-duration, 2018-debuting Blackbeard’s Cutlass. 45 seconds; 2 stars

Beaming Lights Fountain, Cosmic Encounter Fountain, Nova Blast Fountain (Phantom), $3.99 — Trio of diminutive debutantes (at least for California) are sold individually, but work better as a single opening act to wow little ones. Each has around the same duration and effect (so-so sparks and crackling) with the nod going to Cosmic Encounter for a bit more height. 18-20 seconds; 2 stars

Neon Smoke Balls (Phantom), $3.99 for 6 — Each ball produces a pretty florescent cloud. Actually debuted in 2022, but was limited in supply. 20 seconds; 4 stars

Dragon Smoke (DFS), $2.84 — A few seconds of orange smoke belched by a cute green dragon. You get what you pay for with this meh novelty that debuted a year ago outside California as a TNT item and now sold under the sister Freedom brand. 22 seconds; 2 stars

Game Mode (TNT), $2.40 — Stock up on this one because it’s the best fireworks buy in the Golden State this year. Lots of color, and the crackling sparks are crazy good for the price. Comes to California after wowing thrifty Arizonans a year ago. 36 seconds; 5 stars

Backyard Jubilee ($499.99; 4 stars) is the season’s only new assortment and one of Phantom’s best ever, even at a price point that may prompt neighbors to go in together. This is one of only two collections from Phantom that feature fountains also sold individually, the other being the $799.99 Phantom Backyard Bash. Fewer generic-type throwaways equates to bigger bang for your buck in this new assortment advertised as a $725 value. Ten of the 19 fountains are good to excellent. Best in the box: New York Harbor, Brew HaHa and Funky Monkey. Backyard Jubilee is Phantom’s response to TNT’s rookie sensation of last year, American Dream Team ($499; 4 stars). If you’re planning at least four finale-type fountains for your show, ADT is a wise buy even at five Benjamins. Opening Show, Wild Side, Delirium, Atomic Salsa, Wizard Alley, Majestic Momma and Jungle Flower — all seven pieces are winners.

For stand locations and additional product information, visit the retailers’ websites: TNT, tntfireworks.com; Phantom, fireworks.com; and Discount Fireworks Superstore, dfsfireworks.com. Check local laws and take all safety measures before buying and lighting.

Before becoming our second president, John Adams predicted a country reveling with “bonfires and illuminations” in a letter to his wife on the eve of the Second Continental Congress officially telling the tyrant King George III to take a hike. Little did Adams know that his star-spangled suggestion would spark concern and criticism nearly 250 years later.

Inherent worries over safety and noise have always separated fireworks from baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and other relatively benign symbols of Americana. But even as fireworks-related injuries are at historic lows, according to national statistics, anxiety may be at an all-time high in the Golden State.

One reason is where there’s smoke, there’s fire. California’s dry climate is always cause for concern when it comes to fireworks as agencies from the Office of the State Fire Marshal down to the local level warn every year around this time. In the past five years, firefighters have responded to more than 5,000 emergencies caused by fireworks, according to Cal Fire. Last year, alone, incidents numbered over three times above the state average, causing serious injuries and millions of dollars in property damage.

All the precipitation earlier this year has led to California not being in an “extreme” drought for the first time since April 2020, according to the U.S. Drought Monitor. Positive as that may sound in terms of fire danger, it’s actually a double-edged sword, says the agency that provides fire protection and emergency medical services for unincorporated areas of Orange County.

“Record rainfall has increased fuel loads in our wildlands,” said Brian Fennessy, fire chief of the Orange County Fire Authority. “Because of this, citizens need to be especially cognizant and, as always, abide by all fireworks laws in their community.”

As first responders and others focus on fire dangers before, during and after the Fourth of July season, watchful eyes also are on a class of consumer fireworks that is legal in many parts of the nation, but not California.

Fireworks that explode, shoot into the air or emit sparks beyond 10 feet are not state-approved in the 297 jurisdictions where “safe and sane” fireworks are allowed to be sold and used as early as June 28 and as late as July 5, depending on local ordinances. Huntington Beach, for one, only allows state-approved fireworks to be sold for four days and shot off on just one, the 4th, and doing so outside the hours of noon to 10 p.m. is a misdemeanor that carries a minimum $500 fine. Penalties can be much harsher if the fireworks involved do not bear the seal of the state’s fire marshal’s office on the label.

• See more: These 60 Southern California cities permit state-approved fireworks

Problems escalating

Seaside or inland, communities up and down the Golden State are seeing a surge in illegal fireworks-related calls, and many first responders will say that the number has escalated since the COVID-19 pandemic. The need to let off steam during confining lockdown conditions is often blamed. One incident that made national news occurred in March 2021 when, while California was still imposing capacity restrictions and distancing requirements, a massive explosion of illegally possessed commercial-grade fireworks killed two and rocked an entire neighborhood in Ontario. The fatal accident also caused at least $3.2 million in damage. Two months later, a tip to police led to thousands of pounds of illegal fireworks being confiscated at a home in South Central L.A. Due to what has since been determined as a bomb squad technician of the Los Angeles Police Department placing too many of the seized explosive devices inside a containment vessel at one time, a huge blast resulted, injuring 17 people and causing major damage. An internal investigation led to a 10-day suspension of the officer.

More recently, a South Los Angeles neighborhood was rattled on an otherwise quiet Sunday night in March with a barrage of illegal aerial fireworks that reportedly lasted around 45 minutes. A witness described the scene as a “war zone,” and despite responses by the Los Angeles police and fire departments, the people responsible haven’t been found.

“These particular events, happening in cities where all fireworks are banned and not even close to the Fourth of July season, are sad and classic reminders of how illegal fireworks and the damage they cause have become a year-round problem in California,” said Dennis Revell, spokesperson for TNT Fireworks, the state’s largest wholesale distributor of safe and sane fireworks. “The massive illegal fireworks display that occurred in March is one of countless examples of how brazen these perpetrators are and how hard it is to catch them in the act.”

One crime-fighting effort is an assembly bill sponsored by TNT Fireworks that, if it becomes law, may better control the flood of what pyros call “the good stuff” by changing the state’s illegal fireworks landscape. Dubbed the California Illegal Fireworks Enforcement Act, AB 1403 is now in the Senate after passing the Assembly in May. Its supporters expressed hope that it will be amended in the coming weeks to put teeth into laws that hold those involved in these illegal fireworks-related cases more responsible. A number of the enforcement provisions in the legislation, as introduced, were temporarily removed from the bill in its first policy committee in order to give the author, all state agencies, the California attorney general and stakeholders time to work to refine and strengthen the provisions.

“Tragically, individuals and businesses involved in these preventable incidents rarely face federal, state or local prosecution or civil lawsuits,” Revell said.

The proponents’ goal is to not only hold the criminals more accountable, but have AB 1403 require the state to provide training on the proper handling and management of seized dangerous illegal fireworks to local fire and law enforcement personnel.

The consensus among authorities is that the best prevention, besides humans obeying the law, is to stop illegal fireworks from ever entering California. Roughly 65% of what’s banned in the state is reportedly linked to a dozen stores in Nevada. Pahrump, a town of 45,000 just east of the California border, is regarded as the chief supplier of illegal fireworks to Southern California.

Law enforcement on this side of the state line received some bad news recently when Red Apple Fireworks, one of Pahrump’s largest pyro stores and whose owner recently shared expansion plans “to ratchet up our growth exponentially,” changed its hours to 24/7 through the Fourth of July. Rival Area 51 Fireworks said it has no plans to match, keeping the doors open only from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m.

Both Pahrump, located about a 90-minute drive from Las Vegas, and Schurz, a town of 721 southeast of Reno on the Walker River Indian Reservation, have spots where shooting off fireworks is legal. Evident by the unceasing aerial assaults above many urban Southern California skies, however, what’s bought in Nevada doesn’t necessarily stay in Nevada.

In fact, Area 51 is singled out in the active fireworks bill authored by Assemblymember Eduardo Garcia, D-Coachella, connecting the Pahrump retailer with two of the aforementioned Southland incidents. Per press reports and legal records, the text reads, Area 51 “was the retailer that sold the massive amounts of federally approved, but California-illegal fireworks found or involved in the massive explosions and busts in Ontario and the city of Los Angeles in 2021.”

In the Los Angeles case, the defendant testified that he made five trips with a rental truck to Area 51 over 10 days that June to purchase massive amounts of illegal fireworks, each time driving back to his L.A. home.

Paying the price in other ways

The amount of green required to celebrate the red, white and blue on America’s 247th birthday is another potential party pooper in communities where fireworks are legal. Observant shoppers will notice that TNT’s 83-second-long Main Squeeze fountain costs 93% more than it did in its debut season only three years ago. At Phantom’s colorful pop-up stands, the 3-minute Illuminati Triangle fountain is $10 less this season, but that’s still a 150% markup from its 2020 price.

Big spenders will be pleased that the most expensive assortments in California are holding steady at $800. Still, that’s a $300 jump from only a few years ago for TNT’s Big Bang and Phantom’s Backyard Bash. Oh, the escalating cost of raw materials, fuel, labor and other factors.

• For a fireworks buying guide, see: Which state-approved pyrotechnics are worth the price?

Not all the smoke clouds are dark, however. The ghost of John Adams will take delight in seeing dozens of price rollbacks thanks to a leveling off on the cost of freight that contributed to communal sticker shock over the past couple of years.

“Shipping costs have stabilized and we are passing that savings on to the consumer,” said Linda Hass, Phantom’s West Coast operations manager.

The lowest price on Piccolo Petes in years won’t have everyone whistling a happy tune, however. While many people enjoy the loud noises and flashing lights of fireworks, it can be terrifying and overwhelming for animals, warns the California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services. More pets reportedly run away from homes on the Fourth of July than any other day on the calendar. Preventative measures include placing pets in a room with no windows and turning on a TV or music, asking your pet’s veterinarian for medications or techniques to help calm nerves, and making sure all pets have a collar and microchip.

Also preventable are human injuries caused by fireworks, though that didn’t stop more than 10,000 people from getting hurt in 2022, according to the American Pyrotechnics Association, which crunches data from the U.S. International Trade Commission and National Electronic Injury Surveillance System. Last year’s mark of 2.2 injuries per 100,000 pounds of set-off fireworks may have been a record low for the nation, but that doesn’t mean Independence Day celebrants can enjoy the freedom of being complacent.

“Even if fireworks are legal in your area, they pose a huge risk to life and property,” warns the Orange County Fire Authority. “Know the risks, know the law, and practice firework safety.”