After the Covid shutdown, when we had been separated from one another for so long, it became almost normal to feel disconnected. But people naturally group together, in families, in clubs, on sidewalks or in restaurants.
Sometimes we long to go where we feel known and welcomed. A place where it doesn’t matter where we’ve been or who we used to be. Where we are greeted just as we are right now.
Such a place is tucked into the Aldi Center. Tammy and Monja, the owners, greet everyone who enters the Laguna Cafe as if they were longtime friends. They make you feel as if you belong.
That sense of belonging is so important in today’s world and rare to find. There is something that feels good about finding the right people in the right place, at the right time of our lives.
There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in is like wearing the coolest Halloween costume ever. Nobody knows who you are, but you look great.
Belonging is being in the world as our true self. Author Brene Brown said, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”
Scary things are happening in our world today, so more than ever we need positive people to be around. We need to be able to see the compassion, gratitude and true connection that is within us.
Fred Rogers, from the television show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”
Trust is the invisible part of welcoming that joins us together. It nurtures an atmosphere where we feel valued, understood and accepted, just as many people do at Laguna Cafe.
As we recognize the importance of trust in fostering a sense of being in the right place to be ourselves, we pave the way for stronger, more inclusive gatherings where we become helpers to each other.
This can have a ripple effect. When we trust the people around us, we are more inclined to empathize with their struggles, celebrate their successes and offer genuine support during difficult times. These emotional bonds create a sense of unity and solidarity, strengthening the feeling of belonging.
We can always put on our Halloween costume and go out and fit in anywhere, but true happiness comes from belonging, to ourselves and to the world.
The Rev. Linda McNamar is a Laguna Woods Village resident.
